I’m standing on the planet’s surface
in my silver lurex pantsuit
with a flag in one hand
and a drink in the other
I’m claiming this floating rock
this lump of misery
this insurmountable distance
this galaxy far away
in the name of Mills and Boon
(those great explorers of the interior)
with a twist of Captain Katherine Janeway
and a dedication to Xena the Warrior Princess
(not forgetting apologies to Jeanette Winterson)
I’m a collapsing star
I’m an unstable atmosphere
I’m out of phase
I’m a space-time anomaly
I’m realizing resistance IS futile
I’m becoming photons and force-fields
I’m sending out a distress signal on all wave bands
and he still doesn’t answer